I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
