dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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