Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
