Plan B is the new Plan A
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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