just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
