Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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