google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she smelled like a LAN party
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We are two peas in an std pod
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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