then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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