Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
