That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
