If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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