hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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