Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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