what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
