porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
only you would photoshop your dick
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
