yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
