After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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