Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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