She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
