I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
