My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
