I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
