I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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