like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
