talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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