You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
