Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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