Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I need moral support for this bender
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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