Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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