so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
