I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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