why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
