so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
