Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
