are you still at the devil's house?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
