Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
