the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
