I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
