he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
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