her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
