The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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