is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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