Im at strip club and am horny
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
