I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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