it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
