get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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