Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
