Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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