We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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