I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
