She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
